5 annoying things that always seem to happen in the field

If you’re in the infantry, you know just how annoying field ops can be. It’s not because of the job or the self-loathing that comes with signing an infantry contract, it’s because of the bullsh*t you have to endure while you’re out there. And, since you’re outside the whole time and there’s no chance at privacy, there’s nowhere you can go to have a good cry.

The infantry experience is Murphy’s Law embodied — and hastened. Not only will every possible thing go wrong, it’ll all go to hell before you even start your hike or movement. Here are some of the most annoying things that somehow happen almost every time you go to the field.

Rain

If you’re in the infantry, this one isn’t even reserved for the field — it’ll rain no matter where you’re at. It can be a bright, sunny day without a cloud in the sky but the moment grunts are gathered in large numbers, clouds will suddenly appear and rain will come down like a biblical flood is on the horizon.

Hazing scandals

You don’t necessarily have to be in the field for this to happen but, typically, hazing scandals come up as a result of how a Boot is treated in the field. Hazing scandals will often come from field ops because there are Boots who don’t like having to carry their own weight or being tested by their seniors to earn trust and loyalty.

Lost serialized gear

It’s always a pain in the ass but you better prepare for some Boot, whether its a lieutenant or private, to drop their damn night vision goggles in the jungle or forget a radio in a vehicle. Now, everyone else has to search the area at 3 a.m.

For the love of showers and hot food, don’t be that grunt. Keep track of your gear.

Medical evacuation

There’s always that one person who gets to the field, somehow, without realizing there’s something horribly wrong with their body. Whether that’s the moment you start hiking out or the third day of the op, some piece of sh*t will cry about something so they can get taken out of there.

Real medical emergencies are less likely but, either way, it means that someone’s squad is going to be short-handed and others must pick up the slack.

Lost rifle

This one’s less frequent, but much more severe than losing serialized gear. Losing a rifle is the worst thing that can happen, but someone always manages to do it. Your rifle is your lifeline and, in theory, it should be difficult to lose since you should always carry it.

But, rest assured, there’s a moron somewhere who will do it. They’ll probably leave it in the porta-john or leaning against a tree somewhere. Hell, they might even somehow leave it on the range.

Extensions

Just when day fourteen rolls around and you think you’re heading back, your company commander informs you that your field op is being extended for another three days. You thought you’d soon be out of the rain; you were terribly mistaken.