Maybe it’s because I recently went head-to-head in a heated eighteen holes of mini golf with a Navy SEAL, or maybe it’s because Rob Riggle’s humor is so goofy and delightful, but I am really enjoying ABC’s new show Holey Moley.
“Last week billions watched as mini-golf swept the nation. Diseases were cured, families reunited, ABC executives promoted. The world came together in arms and wept in joy for the only sport that matters on earth: mini golf,” Riggle announced, and he would never lie.
Riggle joins Joe Tessitore as on-camera commentators while Jeannie Mai reports from the course, which includes holes like the “Slip ‘n’ Putt” (where one contestant literally fell on his face — like, right on his face, guys; he started bleeding) and “The Distractor” where golfers must try to get a hole-in-one while something, or someone, distracts the hell out of them.
Enter Sergeant Putton.
Putton may be wearing the Operation Enduring Freedom Camouflage Pattern, but his branch is 100% “Drill Sgt.”
(ABC/Eric McCandless)
In an episode titled “The Thunderdome of Mini Golf,” the “Distractor” as Sgt. Putton, whose only objective was to distract the golfer enough to miss the shot.
“He’s pushing buttons. The drill instructor is pushing buttons…because that’s what they do,” observed Riggle, who would know.
Also read: 23 photos of drill instructors terrifying the hell out of Marine recruits
Played by Travis Joe Dixon, Sgt. Putton proved to be loud, forceful, and a crowd favorite — much like real drill instructors, who are absolutely hilarious…as long as you’re not their target.
“My guess is ‘Jimmy Tropicana’ doesn’t respond well to authority figures. No doubt Sgt. Putton is equally repulsed by Jimmy’s civilian tracksuit,” declared Riggle with a jaunty commentator voice.
“Get out of the shadow,” ordered Jimmy, elevating my fear response. You don’t tell the drill instructor what to do, Jimmy! You never tell the drill instructor what to do!!!
Jimmy Ruiz proves he’s got balls in that tracksuit.
(ABC/Eric McCandless)
Putton agreed, marching over to get in Jimmy’s face again. “You do not tell me what to do. You and your hair gel.”
Imagine if someone wore hair gel to basic training…
Related: Should you wear your cowboy hat to basic training?
“The gallery’s simply loving this drill instructor,” laughed Riggle.
In the end, Jimmy finally survived Sgt. Putton and advanced to the next round and the ,000 cash prize.
Rob Riggle Is Golfing For Veterans
Rob Riggle Is Golfing For Veterans
Riggle’s been golfing for over twenty years and, in addition to hosting his new show, he produces an annual InVETational golf classic, raising money for Semper Fi Fund, a veteran non-profit that helps critically wounded service members and their families.
Holey Moley is on ABC Thursday nights at 8PM, sorry, 2000 hours — or you can find it on Hulu right now. Check it out and discover for yourself how satisfying it can be to watch people struggle succeed.