After having many conversations with other military spouses there is always one question that is inevitable. “What does your service member do?” “What is their job in the military?” Wandering eyes look for answers as if a story needs to be made up. We giggle about this and act as if it is not important, however I am a firm believer that caring about what your partner does for a living fosters a supportive environment. We know this life is stressful, not just for us but for our service members. Our troops work hard day in and out through all sorts of demanding roles. Many wear different hats while only wearing one rank on their chest and only one Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) will most likely be carried throughout their military career.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics media release by the U.S Department of Labor, the average American works 7.9 hours a day. We know this is not the case for our military. As military spouses, we know when our service member leaves for work and when they come home. We know how many months they are gone for deployment, the days out on the field training, the time spent on TDY (Temporary Duty Assignment) locations, the hours they have to be on Staff Duty and more. It is way more than 7.9 hours a day. When their work makes up most of their day, being consistent in caring and understanding what they do is a must.
As a Veteran, I also understand that not all service members want to be too chatty about work. We get through the door, kick the tan boots off along with those elastic boot straps and call it a day. Just like Groundhog Day, we are up the next morning ready for PT with our fancy neon PT belt and all the fake motivation we can gather. But now, as a military spouse, it is part of my day-to-day to ask my service member about his work. Know their MOS, their Specialty code, their Rate or what your specific branch of the military calls it. And sure, they might be part of a smaller percentage of military members who truly cannot speak much on what their day entails, but even those jobs have broad strokes.
Besides knowing their work code, understanding how they are part of the military is important for several reasons.
Understanding their job may help you know the level of stress they are dealing with, the reason why they are extra tired, how busy they are and how to communicate better with them. This can also help you learn and broaden your perspective about the military, the op-tempo, and the readiness of the unit your service member is part of, and most of all, can help you prepare for upcoming deployments. Wanting to understand what they do helps with skills that benefit our military relationships. Caring about a big part of who they are through understanding about their job brings on emotional support, relationship strengthening, respect and more appreciation. These are aspects of a healthy relationship.
How can you learn more about their MOS or line of work?
As a Submarine spouse, one thing that was a complete eye-opener for me was taking a submarine tour. I was able to do this while my service member was stationed at Pearl Harbor. Seeing his workspace, the small areas where the crew ate, the many compartments in it, and having an inside look at the submarine gave me perspective and insight into his day-to-day. Ask if you can meet them at work for lunch, see if they can give you a tour.
You can also rely on YouTube to find more information; many branches have great videos of specific MOS to showcase as recruitment visuals.
I know many commands hold family picnics and events; this is a great way to ask questions and get to know their co-workers. I know it can be intimidating but this is also the perfect way to see the interactions between the people they work with. You can also understand their MOS by learning its military history, whether it is visiting a specific military museum like military aviation or Seabee museum, their respective branch museum, or historical sites that depict their Battalion or Command. This all can help in understanding military life from the service member’s perspective.
Learning about their MOS, asking relevant questions, offering specific support, sharing goals and understanding their job responsibilities can help create an overall different partnership. One that fosters growth and healthy habits can help with stress management and effective conflict resolution and enhances trust. This will also benefit the way in which you and your service member look at your next duty assignment and the way you plan the next step in their military career, whether it is promotions, specialized skills training, and more. With more knowledge, you can play an active role in the decision-making and have a better understanding of the ins and outs of their military days.
If you are just getting started through this lifestyle or have been part of this chaos for a bit already, there is always time to learn something new. This is something beneficial, something you have control over, and most importantly, something that can fortify your military relationship.