This is Chapter 5 in the Wellness Memoir. Catch up on previous chapters here.
When my husband deployed for a year, life at home was filled with challenges that tested me in ways I never expected. Ironically, the deployment started with an ER visit for me, and, almost as if coming full circle, we ended the year with another ER visit just a week before my husband’s homecoming.
My son and I were in a serious car accident. I’d gone out to Target to clear my head, hoping a little retail therapy would brighten my mood. On the way home, I stopped at a traffic light, singing along to a Taylor Swift song on the radio. In a split second, the front of my vehicle was crushed, and the airbag deployed with a loud pop.
My son was in his carseat in the back, and my heart dropped. I twisted around to check on him, and he was beginning to whine but seemed otherwise fine. Despite my own panic, I reassured him we were okay, even though I had no idea what to do next.
As if by a miracle, a passing ambulance crew noticed the accident. They pulled up beside us, helping me turn off the car and guiding us to safety. I unbuckled my son, and we both stepped out of the wrecked vehicle, shaken. Just then, I saw a friend’s car pass by. I immediately tried calling her but got no answer, and when I tried another friend, I had no luck reaching her either.
The lessons of resilience
In that moment, an intense loneliness hit me. Though helpers were there, the solitude felt hollow. Our only option was to ride in the ambulance, take on the mandatory ER check-up, and hope one of my friends would call back to help us get home. Sitting on the hospital gurney with my toddler in my lap, I felt shaken, yet I knew we were blessed. My son only had a small scratch on his neck from his car seat strap. I was bruised where the impact of the airbag hit my arm, but had no serious injuries. It felt surreal—a reminder of just how close we were to the end of a long, tough year, and here we were facing yet another obstacle.
A few hours later, one of my friends finally called back. She showed up at the hospital with her baby in tow and brought us home. As we rode back, I began to see the blessings amidst the hardship. If I only looked at the big events, it had been a grueling year. But focusing on the small acts of kindness, on the people who showed up when I needed them most, I realized that every hardship had brought its own lessons and growth.
The past year had felt like a lifetime compressed into 365 days. From learning about my husband’s year-long combat deployment to facing two major surgeries, handling emergencies without a strong local village of support, and countless other trials, each day brought a new challenge. Looking back, I marvel at how much happened in that short time span.
My coping strategy
Over the course of the deployment, I discovered that each challenge was like lifting a new weight—strength-building for my spirit. Dealing with both the simple everyday hurdles of deployment to the major events that stretched my patience, I realized that resilience doesn’t require lifting dumbbells; it’s built by handling whatever life throws your way.
To help process it all, I began keeping a journal on my nightstand. I wrote down every challenge, big or small, that came up. After the deployment ended, I reviewed that list and saw proof that I could handle anything life presented.
Even though I wasn’t always positive, my faith helped me stay grounded and focused while handling one day at a time. The journal became my coping mechanism, a reminder of the strengths I had.
Years later, I no longer have that list. It probably got lost in one of our many PCS moves, but the growth it represented stayed with me. Those experiences during my husband’s one-year combat deployment weren’t just lessons in survival; they were a path toward unbreakable self-confidence.
Even now, I occasionally reflect on that year and am reassured by all I endured. It wasn’t just a wellness journey for my health—it was a journey for my confidence and strength.