We are a village and it is part of our lifestyle to support each other through the different phases of our lives. This includes pregnancy and expecting a new tiny human. Supporting an expecting mother is important as they embrace and undertake the trimesters to come, birth and postpartum.
We all know that military life comes with many challenges, such as constantly relocating and deployments; this sure can add stressors to a military spouse who is expecting. It is important before we decide to help someone that we establish and show that we are a safe space for them to confide in, seek assistance and find emotional reassurance without judgment. Not only do military spouses who are expecting deal with complex situations such as the ones stated above, but they also tackle a lack of resources and limited family support and can be affected by our healthcare system. Providing meaningful support to military spouses during pregnancy can help them feel empowered to face the unique challenges of military life. This will ensure that both them and their growing families thrive in the face of adversity.
How can you and others help?
If a military spouse you know is expecting, helping them build friendships and enforce a network of other spouses willing to help is key to encouraging an expecting spouse to ask for help and also accept it. Making yourself available is paramount because that is the 1st step to get closer to someone in need. It is the step to take to let someone know you will be there when needed and ready to lend a hand.
Practical help is also crucial, creating life is exhausting and the changes a pregnant body goes through can be overwhelming. A reminder that not everyone’s pregnancy is filled with constant moments of glee, there are expecting women who will go through so much and aiding in practical situations such as driving them to appointments, helping them meal prep and offering child care so they can rest can be a tremendous way to show you care. Offer to run errands for them, or if you are already out ask if they need you to pick up anything from the store while you are there. If you are part of an FRG or have ties to a local mom group, check if anyone else is interested in assisting with a meal train. Set up a quick link and have everyone sign up to help. Using sites that can allow you to make it easier to chip in such as Meal Train, Care Calendar, or Give InKind can be perfect ways to support a new parent and for others to come together to support their village. Help them set up the nursery if they are tackling deployment and alone, be there during their nesting period or assist with chores around their home.
Share all the military resources! In my opinion, this one is very important because many parents-to-be in the military are not always aware of the support they can receive through on and off-base programs. From Budget for Baby classes, which are facilitated through the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society and assist new parents to plan for the financial changes to come with a newborn, to the New Parent Support Program, which can be accessed through a local military and family support center. These resources can be beneficial for mom-to-be and new parents.
Don’t forget to honor their milestones. Expecting military spouses want to feel loved, and at times, this is difficult, more so when their service member is away or when they live far away from family. Organize a local or virtual baby shower, a baby sprinkle (if it’s not their 1st child), a gender-reveal celebration, a pregnancy photo shoot (get your phone or camera ready), a mom-to-be blessing or a welcome home celebration after the baby is born. Shower them with love and support as they await or welcome the arrival of their new bundle of joy.
Last but not least, make it meaningful and give them emotional support. Be present, listen and do not allow them to feel isolated and lonely during this time. Empathy and encouragement are extremely important and can be beneficial for mom-to-be. Help them feel connected, check in as needed, and call or message them to let them know you are there for them. Be patient and understanding, and most of all, respect their boundaries and choices; this is vital for their well-being. By earnestly supporting their journey, we can create a sense of community and connection. Our support can empower them to navigate pregnancy and motherhood with confidence. Military Spouses who are expecting can thrive in both the joyful and challenging moments of their journey; we support our own always!