After a big move, one of the worst parts is not having “your people” there with you. Whether that means laughing about the local town gossip or meeting up for a quick bite, to backyard barbeques where everyone hangs out and relaxes, these activities are best done with friends.
The problem, of course, is not having friends once you move. You may have people from work, or those who are nice enough to invite you. But how well do you really know one another? And do you go for a good time, or because you have nothing better to do?
It’s said the military is a small place and the longer you’re in, the more likely you are to be re-stationed with old buddies. But until this happens, you’re left on your own to make new friends.
How to make new friends
There is the ever-popular Facebook method of making friends. But the problem here is that it’s too easy to be flaky. And there’s no filter. You could find military spouses who have nothing in common with you. Instead of casting a wide net, find ways to connect with those to whom you can be good friends.
Try something new, like attending a workout group or group play date. In these scenarios, you’ll have at least one thing in common with others: you like to work out or you have a child. More groups like these exist and you can find them at an MWR location, at Eventbrite, on Google events, and more. Find the activity that speaks to you the most and see who you can find.
While there, the most important thing is to engage. Talk, be friendly, and make an effort. Without doing so, you’ll have a much smaller opportunity to make friends.
You can also attend groups or events that take place on base, sign up for local workshops, and more. Attending a church can be a great way to meet with others, as can after-school events, sports, library clubs, etc. Basically, whatever you’re into, whatever interests you, find a place that offers it, then go meet your people.
Next, try an app to make friends. Or sort your Facebook friends by location; you never know who may be in your town that you didn’t realize had relocated.
You may even be so bold as to offer your phone number (or ask for someone else’s). Making friends as an adult is far more nerve-wracking than it is for kids. But the more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll become socializing with others. Consider it to be like dating, with lower stakes. After all you can have many friends, and those of all different levels of importance in your life.
Finally, remember that other military spouses are in the exact same spot as you. They’re away from home, maybe in a place they’ve never lived. And they’re following a spouse and the career that they love. If nothing else, that can be a great icebreaker and a way for you to get acquainted with the new people around you. Even if you don’t meet a new bestie, you can easily meet fun people to be around until your next move.