Keeping love alive across the miles: Communication during deployment

Jessica Evans Avatar

By Jessica Evans

Posted on Aug 7, 2024

0
U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. Ashley Charles, 451st Air Expeditionary Wing services specialist, Kandahar Airfield, Afghanistan, watches via live video stream as her husband, Staff Sgt. Michael Charles, 99th Air Base Wing Public Affairs photojournalist, re-enlists with Lt. Col. Jonathan Jehn, 99th Comptroller Squadron commander, June 14, 2013, at Nellis Air Force Base, Nev. Deployed military members increasingly rely on such technology to witness loved ones' significant life events. (U.S. Air Force photo by Senior Airman Daniel Hughes)

Share

Being apart during deployment can be tough, but strong communication can help shorten the miles. When you’re staring down the endless months of a deployment, it’s all about staying connected.

Here’s a friendly guide to strengthening your bond, even when you’re miles apart.

The Heart of Communication: Why It Matters

Staying connected is more than just checking in. It’s about maintaining the emotional bond that drew you together in the first place. It’s a lifeline that keeps you grounded and supported, helping you both feel less alone. Regular communication is key during deployment because it’s reassuring – both for you and your partner. Whether it’s a quick “thinking of you” message or a deep, meaningful conversation, every bit of communication strengthens your relationship. 

Make the Most of What You Have

Today’s tech makes it really easy to stay in touch. Here’s how to make technology work for you:

  • Video Calls: Seeing each other’s faces can do wonders. Use apps like Zoom, Skype, or FaceTime for regular video chats. These don’t have to be long; even a quick hello can brighten your day. Try to set a routine, like Sunday morning coffee chats, to create something you both can look forward to.
  • Messaging Apps: Choose one you love and use it! Messaging apps are perfect for those quick, everyday updates. Send photos, voice messages, or short videos to share bits of your life. These small moments help bridge the distance and keep your partner involved in your day-to-day.
  • Social Media: Use social media wisely. Share moments of your life through posts or direct messages but be mindful of security and privacy. This is especially true if you’re considering posting about your partner’s deployment. A good rule of thumb is if they can’t post about it, neither can you.

Create a Communication Routine

A routine will bring you comfort, even if you didn’t have one before deployment. It offers a sense of stability and predictability. This is especially true when dealing with unpredictable military schedules. It’s a way to create a sense of normalcy in an otherwise uncertain situation.

  • Set a Routine: Consider the time zone differences when establishing regular times for calls or messages. This routine can offer stability and something to look forward to.
  • Be Flexible: Sometimes things come up, and a call might get canceled. It’s important to be understanding and not take it personally. Have a backup plan, like sending a voice message or email, if you can’t connect live.

Remember, it’s the quality of your conversations that matter, not the quantity. It’s okay if you can’t talk every day. Focus on having meaningful conversations rather than frequent, shallow check-ins. Share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to keep your bond strong.Creative

Ways to Share Experiences

U.S. Marines with Special Purpose Marine Air-Ground Task Force-Crisis Response-Africa receive care packages on the flight line at Morón Air Base, Spain, Nov.23, 2017. SPMAGTF-CR-AF is deployed to conduct limited crisis-response and theater-security operations in Europe and North Africa. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Sgt. Takoune H. Norasingh/Released)

Even if you’re miles apart, that doesn’t mean you can’t make new memories together.

  • Daily Updates: Deployments can make the miles seem longer, so it’s important that you share little details throughout your day. Your partner wants to know! Use messaging apps, voice notes, or even consider a shared online journal. These updates don’t have to be complex but they’ll help make the deployment go faster.
  • Care Packages: Care packages aren’t cliche at all! In fact, your service member is going to really appreciate small touches from home. Consider sending their favorite snacks, a handwritten note, or a small item that reminds them of home. It’s a tangible way to show your love and make them feel closer to you.
  • Shared Activities: Watch the same movie or read the book and discuss it during your next call. This shared activity can give you something fun to talk about and help you feel more connected.

Handling Challenges and Staying Positive

Deployments come with their fair share of challenges. Here’s how to handle them:

  • Time Zone Troubles: Finding a good time to talk can be tricky with time differences. Be patient and willing to compromise, sometimes waking up early or staying up late to make it work.
  • Tech Glitches: Sometimes, technology fails us. Have a backup plan like switching apps or rescheduling. Remember, patience is key!
  • Emotional Ups and Downs: Feeling a range of emotions is normal. Talk openly about your feelings and support each other. If things get overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or professional counselors.

Effective communication during deployment is crucial for keeping your relationship strong. Using technology wisely, maintaining a consistent yet flexible routine, and finding creative ways to share your lives, you can bridge the distance and keep your love alive. Remember, the miles might be long, but love is resilient and travels the distance just fine.