It’s not for the faint of heart. But it’s totally doable.
A PCS move with teenagers is the hardest type of military move. At this age, teens often have established friendships and are aware of what it means to be a military kid. The challenge of a PCS move with teenagers feels harder from a parenting perspective.
Military teens have a more stoic approach to their lives. They have learned for years how to let go of one place and embrace the next.
PCS travel with teenagers takes less packing preparation on the parents’ part but more mental and emotional preparation to support the teens in the process. Family time becomes a focus at an age when many teens are spending most of their time with friends.
The key strategies for helping teenagers approach a military move with a positive perspective are involving them in the planning stages to address their concerns and preferences, packing essentials like electronics, books, and personal items to keep them comfortable, and scheduling breaks to explore new places along the way.
Involve teens in the planning process
Every PCS move is its own adventure. Whether you drive or fly to your next duty station, there will be activities and places to explore along the way. Look at the move as a vacation and encourage your teen to help plan. Getting their input on sites – or people – they want to visit along the way will help them look forward to the journey.
Teenagers gain life skills from taking part in a PCS move plan. They will learn about travel planning, considering the interests of everyone in the family, and budgeting. Giving teens responsibility can empower them to feel valued. They may open up about their fears and frustrations. This encourages communication and strengthens family bonds in the process.
Teenagers are still children, so they will gain some level of excitement from having their favorite snacks, electronics, books and activities along for the trip. Go on a one-on-one shopping spree with your teen to pick out a new book, earbuds, and favorite snacks to pack for the move. Small indulgences go a long way to make everyone feel more comfortable during a PCS move.
Ways to keep teens connected to friends and routines
Addressing emotional and social concerns of their teenagers may be on the minds of parents during a military PCS move. Staying focused on the adventure ahead helps teens embrace the family time. It is also important to help them find ways to stay connected with the friends they will be leaving. Allowing teens to communicate with friends (and family) who are not nearby using video chats or texting apps can keep those connections intact.
Messaging apps provide military kids the ability to feel connected to friends they made along the military journey. This provides teenagers with that outlet to communicate with friends and helps them hold on to familiar routines.
Life Lessons for Teens in Military Moves
Teenagers with an active-duty parent live in a state of transition, which prepares them to approach their adult life in a more flexible way. While this could look on the surface as a negative, it provides a gained opportunity for family connection. Military teenagers have to let go of friends every few years. The process of always losing friends makes the family their consistent source of support. This can help strengthen family relationships for the long term.
Every PCS move with teenagers reminds us that our families are the compass point for our kids. Where we go is home, even if that changes every few years. There is a special lesson in home being defined as people rather than a place. The adage, “bloom where planted,” is exemplified by military teens.