It’s not even noon on Wednesday, and my daughter is already texting me about more threats her school received, following those from the previous day. I’ve gotten calls and emails from the school saying they’re handling the situation, and even messages from her sports team, trying to calm rumors about what happened to the suspect. I’ve been through this rodeo several times over the past few years—schools get chaotic, parents rush to pick their kids up, and the entire situation becomes a whirlwind of fear and confusion.
We are stationed at Ft. Leavenworth and the local high school, like many schools nationwide, have received several threats to school safety. With high school students attending schools off post, there are some events where our children experience real-world situations they may not be used to, having grown up on a military base.
As a parent, our instinct is to protect our kids, but we also have to stay rational and help them cope with these situations in a healthy way. This is where emotional management becomes critical. I can’t ignore my daughter’s fears or brush them aside; I need to acknowledge her feelings and guide her through them, showing her how to navigate these tough moments.
One thing I said to my daughter today when she told me she was scared because of these threats was, “I understand you’re scared, but let’s take some steps that can help. You can take a break from social media, stay aware of your surroundings, trust those responsible to keep you safe, and of course, pray.” Offering her a way to manage her emotions and helping her focus on what she can control makes a huge difference.
The power of cognitive reframing
While we don’t want to dismiss the reality of these threats, we must equip our children with tools to manage their emotions. A licensed therapist, Brittany Harrison, LPC, suggests using cognitive reframing to help kids turn negative thoughts into positive ones. Cognitive reframing allows us to challenge harmful or fearful thoughts and replace them with more constructive, hopeful ones.
For example, if your child feels unsafe at school, encourage them to reframe their thinking. Instead of focusing on fear, they might say, “I am safe right now because my school and the authorities are doing everything they can to protect me.” This doesn’t erase the reality of the situation, but it helps to shift their mindset from fear to one that emphasizes security and proactive safety measures.
Tips for helping your child cope with anxiety
As parents, our role in helping our children manage the stress and anxiety caused by these threats cannot be understated. Here are a few strategies to guide your conversations and provide emotional support:
- Open the Dialogue: Start by creating a safe space for your child to express their concerns. Ask them how they feel about the situation and listen without judgment. Validate their feelings of fear or anxiety, as ignoring them can make the emotions feel more overwhelming.
- Encourage Positive Thinking: Help your child identify and challenge negative thoughts. For example, if they are afraid that something bad will happen at school, guide them to think about the safety protocols in place and the steps their school takes to protect them.
- Teach Relaxation Techniques: Encourage your child to practice deep breathing, mindfulness, or prayer when they feel anxious. Simple breathing exercises like inhaling slowly for four counts and exhaling for four counts can help calm their nervous system.
- Empower Them with Actions: Give your child tools to feel empowered in their environment. Remind them to be aware of their surroundings, follow safety drills, and report anything suspicious. While these actions don’t eliminate fear, they help students feel more in control.
- Focus on Faith: For families like mine, faith plays an essential role in handling stress. I always remind my daughter to lean on her faith during difficult times, encouraging her to pray for protection and peace. Letting your child know they are covered by a higher power can be comforting, especially in times of uncertainty.
- Monitor Their Exposure: With so much information available on social media, it’s important to monitor what your child is exposed to. While it’s good for them to be informed, excessive consumption of threatening news can exacerbate anxiety. Help them set boundaries on their social media use when it comes to these sensitive topics.
- Seek Professional Help When Necessary: If your child’s anxiety becomes overwhelming or starts to affect their daily functioning, consider seeking professional help. Licensed therapists like Harrison can offer valuable tools for emotional regulation, helping children process and reframe their thoughts.
Coping with school threats together
The reality of school threats is deeply unsettling, and as parents, it’s easy to feel helpless when our children are at risk. However, we have the power to equip them with the emotional tools they need to cope with these stressors. By having open conversations, practicing cognitive reframing, and helping them lean on their faith, we can empower our children to face these difficult situations with resilience.
While school safety remains a collective effort, our role as parents in guiding our children through these tough moments is irreplaceable. Together, we can ensure that they are emotionally equipped to handle their fears and continue to focus on learning and growing in a world that often feels uncertain. By leading with compassion, communication, and care, we can help our children navigate these difficult times, always reminding them that they are never alone.