How to be a medical advocate for your family

Doctors like Capt. Manisha Mills, a 49th MDOS pediatrician, are amazing. But sometimes you need a little extra help advocating for your family. Here's how. (U.S. Air Force photo by Airman 1st Class Ilyana A. Escalona)

Share

Being a medical advocate for your family is critical in ensuring everyone receives the care they need and deserve. Here are some tips for how and when to speak up.

Tips for keeping track of your family’s medical appointments 

Scheduling and keeping medical appointments for yourself is difficult enough. Add in kids, including those with high medical needs, and you’ve signed up for a part-time job. However, as unwelcome as the tasks might be, they are necessary. Without scheduling and tracking these events, it means your medical care could falter, or be less attentive than it should be. 

It’s up to you to advocate for your family and their medical needs. From scheduling checkups, to following up with anything of concern, to preventative care, it’s up to you to ensure all of these items are checked from the family’s list. For basic appointments, this is arguably mundane. But when a stronger diagnosis comes into play … or the threat of diagnoses, it’s time to dot your Is and cross your Ts. 

Better safe than sorry

How many horror stories have you heard about misdiagnoses? Kids who weren’t given the right medicine or treatment that just took time to figure out? These heartbreaking tales remind us how lucky we are to have health, and how difficult it can be when there aren’t answers to lingering ailments. Trust your instincts.

There is the patient who is suffering, the family who has to watch it happen, and the medical professionals who see the patient for the first time. Especially with the military community, patients will see new doctors, new nurses, and new administrators as they relocate and change towns. This, of course, means it’s only that much harder to find out the issue at hand. 

In contrast, if you’re keeping track of each appointment and reminding folks of each issue, you can be that much closer to an answer. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Doing so isn’t being disrespectful, it’s making sure you are being heard. After all, doctors are only human. They forget details, especially when they are seeing multiple patients per day. Times that day in and day out, and they are bound to forget a few details. They might have the medical knowledge, but you know your case (or your child’s case) better than anyone. Don’t be afraid to speak up. 

This goes on the paperwork side, too

Speaking up doesn’t mean in the doctor’s office, it means when dealing with referrals and approvals. If you don’t like an answer, see if there’s anything that can be done. See if that medicine can be covered, if a checkup can be moved up to an earlier date, etc. There’s a difference between being rude vs. ensuring you are getting good care and taking care of yourself. Don’t be afraid to do the latter. 

Finally, don’t be afraid to research conditions. Yes, a trip to WebMD might make you feel like you’re dying of cancer (and 15 other ailments), but those results are extremes. Instead, use your research as a way to know what to look for and to be informed if/when a new symptom may occur. Being informed can keep you ready to talk with your doctor at your next appointment. Or, at the very least, it can alert you to when it’s time to schedule a screening.

Your military member certainly has people ensuring their appointments are filled and in a timely manner, but the same isn’t true for their family. As a military spouse, the role of medical advocate falls on your shoulders; it’s your job to get everyone seen and advocate for the best care possible.