One of my many hopes for military spouses everywhere is to be empowered and independent. Hear me out, yes we are “dependents” due to our service members’ military duty, however, I believe we should all strive to be able to feel and be independent enough to problem solve and tackle issues that will come along with deployments or PCSing. Learning a set of skills that can stay with you and help you throughout life can be extremely beneficial. These skills allow military spouses to become well-rounded, self-sufficient individuals who feel empowered and capable to handle different aspects of everyday life.
Whether you are approaching a deployment, dealing with a PCS or simply coping with being alone for the first time, there are skills every military spouse out there should know:
1. Routine home care
Changing A/C filters, overhead lights and dealing with smoke detectors are easy enough but often overlooked. The amount of times that I have seen this come up on a local online spouse group is surprising. You don’t have to be an expert on these but I do think that most of the time when our service member is home we tend to rely on them taking care of these things. We simply choose not to learn or add it to their to-do list. Before you come at me, know that I’ve fallen victim to the “my spouse is home” bit and have not made an effort to learn how to tackle some of these before. Deployments happened and the chaos that ensued when a smoke detector’s batteries started dying had me going insane at 3 am with two kids waking up to the horrendous noise. So, yes, learn how to take care of these routine fixes as they can benefit your sanity.
2. Car maintenance
Do you know how to tackle basic car maintenance? You need to know how to refill windshield wiper fluid, inflate your tires to the correct PSI, and know when your oil change is coming up. Depending on how long you will be on your own these will most likely come up. These are basic skills everyone should learn to handle car maintenance and safety effectively.
3. Physical safety
Some life skills go beyond home and auto care, health and wellness is important as well, like knowing how to perform everything from basic first aid to CPR and stress management practices. If you don’t know by now, Murphy’s Law comes in threes and understanding that things can and will go wrong means looking at all possible areas that can be affected. Yes, that includes your health. Taking a CPR class locally, especially if you have children at home, can bring you peace of mind while tackling an already stressful military life. You can also go further to protect yourself and yours by taking a self-defense class. Empowering yourself in ways that can protect you from danger can be crucial.
4. Tech troubleshooting
You just moved to a new duty station and unfortunately your spouse is gone. Your Wi-fi is down and now you are left wondering how you can fix it. Have you ever set up a connection? Do you know how to troubleshoot the tech in your home? Technology and general comprehension is much needed nowadays. From Alexa, Google, to your Ring camera, understanding that a smart home needs troubleshooting from time to time and knowing how to deal with it is important. This also applies to your mobile device which needs to be kept updated with the latest software and is a tool when communication is key while a service member is away from home.
5. Transportation
A skill often missing is driving. And sure, you don’t have to drive but you can’t rely on everyone around to commute. Finding ways for transportation are key to living an independent military life. Many military families rely on one family vehicle; this can cause problems if not everyone knows how to drive it. Many spouses are left behind through a deployment with a manual car they’ve never driven. If that is your only means of transportation it should be a priority to learn how to properly drive it. From running to appointments to getting groceries, transportation is important and unfortunately, not all bases are equipped with all walkable amenities. If driving a car is completely undoable, then educating yourself on local public transport is vital. Master the local routes, understand the bus fares, accessibility and yes, even traveling with kids. General knowledge of your location, direction on where you are heading and familiarization with public transportation basics can bring on much more self-sufficiency.
We can keep going about this, there are so many important skills everyone should be proficient with. Empowering yourself with the skills needed to undertake military life and all its ups and downs comes with the necessity to learn new things constantly.
“Every skill you acquire doubles your odds of success”. – Scott Adams