3 ways to make your first deployment easier

Jessica Evans Avatar
Family and friends gather to say goodbye as the attack submarine USS La Jolla departs for a scheduled six-month deployment to the western Pacific.
Family and friends gather to say goodbye as the attack submarine USS La Jolla departs for a scheduled six-month deployment to the western Pacific. US Navy photo.

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Facing your first deployment as a military spouse? Prepare for a whirlwind of emotions. It’s not all doom and gloom, though. With the right planning, you can use this time as an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and community building. Yes, you’ll face challenges, and yes, you’ll have chances to grow. These months without your partner will test your strength and flexibility as a military spouse. But you’ll also find inner courage you never knew you had. Focusing on self-care, prioritizing your health, and leaning on your community will help you get through the months when your partner is away.

1. Create a Deployment Bucket List

Consider a deployment bucket list as a tool to keep your spirits high and your days purposeful. It’s all about setting small, achievable goals that turn each day into a mini-adventure. Here’s how it can work for you:

  • Explore Your Passions: What have you always wanted to try but never had the time for? Maybe it’s learning to play the guitar, mastering the art of baking, or diving into photography. These are perfect distractions that can bring joy and a sense of accomplishment.
  • Get to Know Your New Hometown: If you’ve recently relocated, use this time to explore your new surroundings. Make a list of local museums, parks, cafes, or quirky shops you want to visit. Think of it as becoming a local tourist!
  • Set Personal Challenges: Want to run a 5k? Finish a certain number of books? Finally unpack the last box from your PCS? No matter what it is, set realistic and inspiring goals. Break them down into manageable steps and celebrate each victory, no matter how small.

Sharing your bucket list with friends or fellow military spouses can be a great way to stay accountable and get support. They might even join you on some of your adventures! 

2. Time Zone Friendly Hang Out Sessions

Time zone differences can be tricky, but they don’t have to put a damper on staying connected with your spouse. Here are some fun and creative ways to bridge the gap:

  • Culinary Adventures: Even if you can’t eat at the same time, you can still share a meal in spirit. Cook meals that remind you of each other or that you’ve enjoyed together. Share the recipes, pictures, and stories behind the dishes during your next video call. It’s like sharing a piece of your day, even from afar.
  • Daily Life Snapshots: Record snippets of your day—like a morning walk, your favorite coffee spot, or a sunset. These videos or photos can help your spouse feel connected to your everyday life. It’s a way to share moments without worrying about syncing schedules, and it can bring you closer together, even when you’re miles apart.
  • Good Morning, Good Night Rituals: Make the time difference a cute part of your routine. You can send each other “Good morning” or “Good night” messages, photos, or even videos. It’s a simple gesture that keeps you in each other’s thoughts and helps maintain a sense of daily connection.
  • Asynchronous Games and Challenges: Try your hand at turn-based games. Words with Friends, online trivia, or even old-fashioned chess. No matter what you choose, find a game that doesn’t need you both online simultaneously. It’s a fun way to challenge each other and keeps your interactions light and playful.

3. Celebrate Your Spouse and Your Achievements

It’s easy to get caught up in the challenges of deployment. But don’t forget to celebrate the little things—both your and your spouse’s accomplishments. Here’s how:

  • Create a Victory Jar: Start a jar to record the small victories you achieve each day. Handed a tough situation like a champ? Learn something new? Or maybe you just got through the day. No matter what it is, seeing your victories in one place goes a long way. ou of your resilience and growth.
  • Acknowledging Your Spouse’s Milestones: Stay in tune with your spouse’s achievements, too. Did they complete a challenging task? Hit a goal? No matter what, make sure you celebrate them! A simple “I’m proud of you” message can mean a lot. Remember, celebrating both your and your spouse’s achievements is a way of showing appreciation and value, and it can strengthen your relationship during deployment.
  • Share Success Stories: If you’ve started a new hobby or completed a personal challenge, share it with your spouse. It’s not just about staying busy; it’s about letting them see you thriving and growing, which can be incredibly uplifting for both of you.

Remember, deployment is tough but also an opportunity to discover how strong and capable you are. Keep focused on your well-being, support your spouse, and nurture your relationship. Lean on your community, and don’t be afraid to reach out for support. Before you know it, this challenging time will be a blip in your military marriage, filed away with wild PCS moves and all the other adventures that comes with being a mil spouse.