Cultural etiquette for military families: How to respect local customs abroad

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Spc. Jason T. Dorsey, from Chicago, public affairs specialist with the 139th Mobile Public Affairs Detachment, Illinois Army National Guard, out of Springfield, Ill., poses with traditionally dressed women of Kyoto, Japan. Troops from both the Japan Ground Self Defense Force and 1st Battalion, 14th Infantry Regiment went to the ancient city of Kyoto, Japan for culture day. (U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Jesse Houk)
Spc. Jason T. Dorsey, from Chicago, public affairs specialist with the 139th Mobile Public Affairs Detachment, Illinois Army National Guard, out of Springfield, Ill., poses with traditionally dressed women of Kyoto, Japan. Troops from both the Japan Ground Self Defense Force and 1st Battalion, 14th Infantry Regiment went to the ancient city of Kyoto, Japan for culture day. (U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Jesse Houk)

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Are you excited about your overseas assignment? Embracing cultural etiquette is key to feeling at home in your new community. Let’s dive into some essential tips on respecting local norms, picking up a few language basics, and understanding social customs. We’ll also explore specific advice for popular destinations like Germany, Japan and Korea.

Universal Etiquette Tips for Every Country

Respecting the local culture is essential wherever you’re stationed. Here are some universal etiquette tips to help you navigate daily interactions and build positive relationships.

Start with a Warm Greeting

How you greet someone can set the tone for your entire interaction. In many cultures, greetings go beyond just saying “hello.” For example, a firm handshake with direct eye contact shows sincerity and respect in Germany. In Japan, a slight bow reflects humility. A gentle bow paired with a handshake is common in Korea, especially among men. Understanding and using these local greeting customs will help you make a great first impression.

Learn the Language Basics

Even if English is spoken on base, learning a few key phrases in the local language can make a big difference. Simple greetings and polite expressions show respect for the culture and help you connect with locals. For instance, in Germany, knowing phrases like “Guten Tag” (Good day) and “Danke” (Thank you) goes a long way. In Japan, mastering “Konnichiwa” (Hello) and “Arigatou gozaimasu” (Thank you very much) is essential. In Korea, “Annyeong haseyo” (Hello) and “Gamsahamnida” (Thank you) will help you make connections.

Mind Your Manners at the Table

The leaders of the Regimental Support Squadron, 2d Cavalry Regiment, and its partner town of Hahnbach, Germany converse at the Frohnberg restaurant near Hahnbach, Germany, Aug. 12, 2020. Their meeting marked the first event between RSS and Hahnbach since the squadron’s change of command ceremony in Vilseck, Germany, July 20, 2020.

Dining customs can vary greatly, so it’s important to familiarize yourself with local practices. For example, in Germany, waiting until everyone is served before starting your meal is polite. Saying “Guten Appetit” before eating is customary. In Japan, using chopsticks correctly is crucial. Never stick them upright in your rice, as this resembles a funeral ritual. In Korea, elders are highly respected, so wait for the oldest person at the table to begin eating before you do.

Dress to Fit In

Your attire can communicate respect or disrespect, depending on where you are. In more conservative cultures, dressing modestly is a sign of respect. For example, in Germany, casual but neat clothing is typical. For formal events, it’s important to dress smartly. In Japan and Korea, cleanliness and appearance matter greatly, so dressing neatly and conservatively is appreciated, especially in public and professional settings.

Blend In With Your Public Behavior

Public behavior is another area where cultural norms differ. For instance, in Germany, public transportation is often quiet. Conversations are expected to be kept at a low volume. In Japan, public displays of affection are rare, and maintaining a low profile on public transportation is the norm. In Korea, respecting personal space and avoiding loud conversations in public places is important. Being aware of these social cues helps you blend in and show respect for the local way of life.

Specific Tips for Key Locations

Now that you’ve got the basics let’s dive into some specifics for three key locations where military families are often stationed: Germany, Japan, and Korea. Each of these countries has unique customs that are important to understand.

Germany: Embrace Punctuality and Precision

In Germany, being on time is more than just polite—it’s expected. Whether you’re meeting friends for coffee or attending a business meeting, showing up on time shows respect for others. Germans value efficiency and precision. So, when you’re given instructions, follow them carefully. Recycling is also taken very seriously in Germany. Be sure to separate your waste correctly and follow local recycling rules.

Japan: Honor and Humility in Every Interaction

Spc. Jesus Zavala shows his respect as he bows and shakes the hand of a priest in the “Toenji” temple during culture day, Saturday, Oct. 15.

In Japan, honor and humility are deeply ingrained in the culture. This is reflected in everything from greetings to gift-giving. For example, when exchanging business cards, use both hands to give and receive them. Take a moment to examine the card before putting it away. Public baths, or “onsen,” are popular in Japan, but there are specific etiquette rules to follow. Wash thoroughly before entering the communal bath, and keep conversations quiet.

Korea: Respect for Elders and Community Spirit

In Korea, respect for elders is a core value. When interacting with someone older, use formal language and show deference by bowing slightly. When dining, it’s customary to wait for the eldest person to start eating before you begin. Koreans also value community and family, so participating in community events or showing interest in your neighbors’ lives can help you build strong connections.

Building Connections Abroad

Building connections in a new country isn’t just about following the rules. It’s about genuinely engaging with the culture and people around you. Here’s how to go the extra mile.

Get involved in local activities or community events to immerse yourself in the culture. Whether you attend a local festival in Japan, join a hiking group in Germany, or participate in a traditional tea ceremony in Korea, these experiences will help you connect with locals and gain a deeper understanding of the culture.

Respect Religious Practices

A Member of the Windward Buddhist Temple pays his respects during Obon, a Buddhist memorial service, at Bellows Japanese Cemetery, Marine Corps Training Area Bellows, Marine Corps Base Hawaii, June 10, 2024. Members of the Windward Buddhist Temple honored the spirits of Japanese immigrants who worked at the Waimanalo Sugar Plantation as well as laborers from local dairy farms and members of the Waimanalo Hongwanji Temple and their descendants. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Clayton Baker)

Be mindful of religious customs and holidays, which may differ from what you’re used to. For example, in Germany, many businesses close on Sundays and religious holidays. Plan your shopping and activities accordingly. In Japan, you might be invited to visit a Shinto shrine or Buddhist temple. Observe the practices, such as bowing before entering and cleansing your hands at the purification fountain. In Korea, showing respect for traditional Confucian ceremonies, which honor ancestors, is important.

Embrace and Enjoy 

Living abroad as a military family is a unique opportunity to learn, grow, and immerse yourself in a new culture. By embracing these cultural etiquette tips and adopting the customs of your host country, you’ll show respect for the local way of life. Plus, you’ll enrich your own experience. No matter where you’re stationed around the world, your overseas adventure will be more fulfilling and enjoyable when you engage with the culture around you.