Military life can throw a lot at you, but staying connected with your partner is always possible. These tips will help you strengthen your bond, no matter what challenges come your way. We know military life is a whole different game. The time zones, the high-stress days, and the random schedule changes all affect how you talk to each other. You might already be used to the chaos, but even the most seasoned couples can struggle. And that’s okay. The key? A little extra effort goes a long way. Let’s dive into some real strategies to keep your connection strong, whether you’re a military newbie or have been through a few deployments.
Here are 8 communication strategies for military couples to stay connected:
1. Create “Sacred” Time to Talk
Schedules in military life are chaotic. But making time to connect is a must. You don’t need hours—just a consistent, dedicated window where it’s all about you two. Ten minutes for a quick video chat or a phone call can make a huge difference. Treat it like a routine, something non-negotiable.
Sure, schedules change. Sometimes, things are out of your control, but the effort to stay consistent is what matters. You could find a time before bed or during a lunch break—something that works with your unpredictable life. It’s about making it happen, not about being perfect.
2. Use Tech That Keeps You Close
Technology is the real MVP for long-distance couples, but you can do better than just texting. Try out different apps or tools until you find what feels right for both of you. Want to mix it up? Here are a few ideas:
- Marco Polo: This app is perfect for sending video messages when you don’t have time for a live chat. It lets you leave messages your partner can watch whenever they have a moment.
- Kast: Missing movie nights? Kast lets you stream movies or shows together in real time, making it feel like you’re watching side by side, even if you’re oceans apart.
- Voxer: A mix of voice notes and texts, Voxer’s walkie-talkie vibe makes sending quick updates or longer stories easy, depending on what you’ve got going on.
Don’t get stuck in a routine. Switch things up based on what you’re feeling that day. Use video calls, voice notes, texts, or even some creative app combos to keep the connection fresh. The goal is to stay connected in whatever way feels good for you both.
3. The Art of Listening
Talking is half of communication, but listening? That’s where the magic happens. Active listening isn’t just about hearing words; it’s about showing your partner you’re fully present. It’s easy to get distracted, especially when juggling a lot, but giving your spouse your full attention—even for five minutes—can make a difference.
Here’s how you do it: Make sure you’re somewhere quiet when they talk. Get rid of distractions—don’t scroll through your phone or half-watch TV. Mirror back what they’re feeling. If they say, “Today was rough,” try responding with, “That sounds hard. I’m sorry it was tough.” Simple, but it shows you care.
Pro tip: It’s not just about solving problems. Sometimes, your spouse just needs to vent or feel heard. Listen without jumping in to “fix” everything.
4. Create a “Relationship Mission”
You know how every military mission has a goal? Your relationship can have one, too. Sit down with your spouse and figure out what you both care about most. Is it making more time for each other? Is it supporting each other’s career goals? Write these down as your “relationship mission.”
This isn’t just some cute couple’s exercise. It’s a way to stay grounded, especially when things get hard. Life throws curveballs, but this mission keeps you focused on what really matters. Revisit it when times get tough. Think of it as your blueprint for staying connected, even when military life gets in the way.
5. Use Non-Verbal Communication
Words are great, but actions and non-verbal gestures can say just as much (sometimes more). You don’t always have to express everything through texts or calls. Try sending your spouse a song that reminds you of them, or create a shared playlist for when you can’t be there. You could also surprise them with a small care package—nothing fancy, just something to show you’re thinking about them.
Leaving little notes or gifts around before they head out for a TDY or deployment also works. Those tiny gestures help you feel connected even when you’re not together. It’s about staying close without always having to talk.
6. Deal With Conflict Early
Let’s be real—every couple fights. It’s normal, but the extra stress of military life can make it feel way more intense. The best way to deal with it? Do not let it simmer. Talk about what’s bothering you as soon as possible, but do it in a solution-focused way. Instead of blaming each other, try looking for compromises.
And remember, you’re a team. Even when you’re mad, you’re both in this together. Approach the problem like you would a mission—figure out how to solve it without tearing each other down.
7. Lean Into Spontaneity
Military life is unpredictable, but that doesn’t always have to be bad. In fact, spontaneity can be fun. Send your spouse a surprise text or video message just because. If you’re feeling extra thoughtful, surprise them with a random care package. You could even plan a spontaneous virtual date night—watch a movie or cook “together” over video chat.
Military life’s unpredictability can bring in those little bursts of joy and connection. Roll with it.
8. Stay Connected, No Matter What
You already know communication is the foundation of your relationship, but military life means you need to be a little more intentional. By creating time for each other, using tech creatively, listening, and adding spontaneity, you can stay close—no matter the distance.