Gearing up for a deployment is never fun. But there are a few things you can do in order to make the transition an easier one for both you and your spouse (and your kids.) Take a look at these helpful tips for an easier way to head into your spouse’s next deployment.
Start with a list and then narrow down the aspects that you find the most important. Be sure to have plenty of fun in between the daunting tasks, too, in order to make the best use of the time you have before your loved one starts their extended trip.
First things first:
- Get on the same page on all levels of communication. How often will you talk? Is it ok when one of you is busy? Do you have ground rules for keeping one another’s trust? If this is a first deployment, this is something that should be discussed for everyone’s comfort. Then, move on to logistics, like who pays the bills, who to call when there’s an emergency, etc. If this hasn’t already been done, you will need a plan of action.
- Then it’s time to look at logistics. Does their vehicle need to be registered? Do you need a power of attorney? Many of these steps will be covered by your spouse and their military unit. But it’s also your job to ensure you have whatever you need while your spouse is away. What if you can’t contact them for an extended period of time? What if something happens and you need to make a quick decision? Hope for the best but plan for the worst when it comes to a deployment and your duties while a spouse is away.
Next, move on to more fun aspects of planning:
- Make your spouse’s favorite dishes or take them to their favorite eating spots. Spread these out over a few weeks before they leave. That way they can get their fill of their most-loved meals before it’s time to go.
- Add in dates for you, and your spouse with the kids (if you have them) on a one-to-one ratio. You don’t have to make the dates big or elaborate, just allow everyone to get in some high-quality time before you’re apart. Remember that this time is as much for your spouse as it is for everyone at home. Spending a few moments reminding your loved one how special they are to you can do wonders for their mood, self-esteem, and their grit while spending a long time away from you.
- Take them shopping! It’s true that there are only so many things your spouse can take on deployment. But the things they DO take should be worth the space they are taking up. For instance, high-quality socks, lounge clothes that are actually comfortable, upgrade their toiletries to their faves, and grab snacks for the trip. They may not be flushed with gear, but make what they are able to carry with them count.
- Make plans for the future! One of the best ways to remind your spouse that you still love them and are invested in your family is to plan out the future. Even those in secure relationships can find peace in talking about what’s next. It can also be a great distraction during rough times. Don’t be afraid to discus what’s next – from the small stuff like celebrating birthdays – to the big stuff like your dream duty station. All of the above can provide some much-needed excitement for all involved.