When the paperwork was finally complete and the uniforms packed away, we climbed into our 1999 Winnebago—two kids in carseats plus a labradoodle—and left Virginia for our forever home in Idaho.
For seven days and six nights, my gut kept saying one word: Lost.
It spoke again as we approached the unfamiliar house painted green in the Boise foothills.
Lost.
Glancing at my husband in the driver’s seat, I saw how he looked at me. He felt the same and something more. Anger? It was always the plan to be here, but it’s too soon. And we no longer wear our badges of honor: Army scout, military family, and milspo. It feels strange to exist without them.
For 15 years, I’ve reinvented myself with every move and career change. But this? It feels like the hardest one yet. Putting one foot in front of the other, I move forward—for him, for them, and for me.
Lost, but also, Keep going, my gut says.
A year passes, my feet are back on the ground, and I’m ready to face the rollercoaster of emotions that hit at the exit gate of Fort Eustis. As part of a virtual book club I host, three very different but equally inspiring storytellers captivate and tame my raw, vulnerable state of mind. Each book provides unique tools to navigate transitions, challenges, and reinventions—all part of living a military life, even when you’re out.
So, I’m compelled to share. For spouses like me navigating hard times, here are three must-read books to help you live your best mil-life for the remainder of this year and beyond.
1. Tough Titties by Laura Belgray
Why It’s a Must-Read*: Laura Belgray’s humorous memoir offers an honest take on embracing one’s true self. Military spouses will find Laura and her sometimes cringe-worthy stories refreshing, relatable, and, dare I say, motivating. In today’s self-help culture, which can feel unattainable, especially for military spouses with limited control over their paths, her perspective is a breath of fresh air. She resonates particularly with those who feel like late bloomers in their lives and careers.
Key Takeaway: Embrace your quirks and unique qualities; they are your superpowers, and it’s never too late to soar to success.
* Pro-tip: For a next-level experience, enjoy this one via audiobook.
2. Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
Why It’s a Must-Read: Brené Brown’s groundbreaking work on vulnerability and courage is essential for anyone facing the uncertainties of military life. Her insights and tools for having hard conversations can help even the most seasoned military spouse build resilience and connect more deeply with their partner, kids, and community.
Key Takeaway: Vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength that fosters connection and courage; the first step is to suit up and show up.
3. A Healthy State of Pan!c by Farnoosh Torabi
Why It’s a Must-Read: Farnoosh Torabi’s book provides a fresh perspective on managing fear and using it as a tool for growth. Military spouses, who are all too familiar with the feelings tied to the unknown, will learn practical strategies for turning anxieties into positive action.
Key Takeaway: Harness your fears to drive personal and professional growth.
Thanks to these authors, I no longer feel lost. Through their insights and inspiration, I’ve crafted a map of sorts—one equipped to navigate the unknown and ever-changing terrain of life. I hope you’ll use these books to create your own plan, knowing that while you may sometimes feel “lost,” you are never alone. Let Belgray, Brown, and Torabi guide you as you begin your journey. And when it feels too hard, keep climbing.