OPSEC is going to be the main focus for weeks to come thanks to keyboard warriors trying to prove things to people who have no business being proven things to. Our collection of military memes this week is no exception. Out of all the ways one can get in trouble, it’s always the ones who think they’re God’s gift to the military that do so in a spectacularly stupid way. I bet you they would never make it outside the wire without wetting themselves but on the internet they want a bunch of random civilians to think of them as a Secret Squirrel.
If you do not know the story of the latest National Security blunder, long story short: An Air National Guardsman named Jack Teixeira has been leaking classified documents on a Discord server for clout. He wanted to be the next QAnon and he ended up -as my Sergeant would famously say- ‘in real a** pounding prison’ instead. I don’t have to remind you about OPSEC because that’s all you’re going to hear about from on high for the foreseeable future.
Strap in for the safety stand down and hurry up and wait with this week’s selection of military memes
*SSgt is 2 rooms away* “I got time to rest my eyes”.
This one time, we forgot that we had a nuke without a guard assigned, and was left alone for several hours. Better yet, no one knew about it until an airman discovered something wrong. We could have had our own version of Hiroshima if it was not for the attention to detail of one airman and the negligence of another. Honestly the story is pretty insane and this short summary does not do it justice. Google it whenever you are bored, waiting to draw your weapon at the armory.
The war is over, you don’t have to keep trying to be Billy Badass. Stop getting goaded into betraying your country for clout. Save it for the next one and leak the enemy’s intel if you want to be a Secret Squirrel that bad.
Ah yes, there was another moron this week who actually submitted a job application to be a hitman. That’s another Google-worthy rabbit hole.
There are many paths to promotion that some may consider to be unnatural.
For real, loyalty is not always throwing rounds down range. Sometimes we just need to deposit some processed MREs.
It’s all a conspiracy to get more caffeine into your body. A delicious, roasted conspiracy.
Get used to this face. You’ll be seeing a lot more of her a lot more often.
Be nice to those teens. At least after four years you get out. Them? They’re stuck being on base for the foreseeable future because they are probably a lifer’s dependent.
One day I’m going to be a crusty old man with no filter or consequences. I look forward to that one day.
Growth mindset.
This is what happens when you do not let bored troops grow facial hair.
You are in serious danger of using common sense next time.
Ol’ Mike and the boys are at it again. They called it a ‘soup kitchen.’
Oh, no. OIF/OEF we’re next.
If you joined for recognition then you may need to reevaluate your MOS.
Take care of problems when they’re small and they will stay small.
Don’t worry gents, we still have time to ruin our careers at the next port.
God made Marines to protect the United States of America. He then made Dress Blues so even the fugly ones could make more Marines.
Hard work makes the dream work.
Time to jog in place in front of the company office and lock eye contact with your CO to establish dominance.
I think you may be a better fit in the Marine Corps infantry.
I was one of the proctors for my Battalion but I never gave my code. I made them take the tests by the book. I remember I had SNCOs try to bully it out of me and I would reply with a smile “you’re asking me to commit a crime. I cannot do comply with that unlawful order” in earshot of Master Sergeant, a real stickler for the rules. This time, I was the green weenie.
Oh no, not again!
Mine is truly impossible because it includes zombies. Bear zombies?