Best-selling author Simone Gorrindo never imagined herself as a military spouse when she began her career in New York City as an editor. So when she married her husband – a U.S. Army Special Forces operator – at 27 and found herself uprooted and moving to Fort Benning, her professional life began to look drastically different.
“I had been on my own for a long time and had started a career and it was very identity upending to leave behind something that I like worked so hard to get,” Gorrindo told We Are The Mighty.
It’s a situation many military spouses face – the loss or lack of career – and Gorrindo validates that letting that go is a mourning process.
“You see yourself a certain way, and then all those things fall away, and you are there really acting in a supporting role – at least in the capacity of being an Army wife – and then you have to kind of figure out who you are in that role, which, for me, was challenging,” Gorrindo said.
Despite the challenges she faced, Gorrindo persevered in her goals as both a journalist and editor while navigating life as a new military spouse. In 2024, she released her debut memoir, The Wives, “an intimate and stereotype-smashing look into the inner world” of a private – and often invisible – population: military spouses.
Gorrindo sat down with We Are The Mighty to share TK insights and tips on how fellow spouses can carve out time for themselves to foster a career, as well as what has worked for her along the way.
1. Find your people – and they might be online.
Gorrindo says what she immediately missed about working in New York City was having co-workers and being surrounded by like-minded people working toward similar goals.
“The first thing for me was finding a community of people online who I felt supported by and inspired by and was doing work with,” Gorrindo says, adding that she used her existing network to make and build new connections. “I think that sometimes the greatest thing you lose when you lose your career – or one of the greatest things – is peers who are doing the same thing and who care about what you care about. I tried really hard to find a replacement for that at Fort Benning, and I just couldn’t. The internet really helped me survive and launch a career in so many ways.”
2. Advocate for yourself.
Most families benefit from having two incomes, so when a military spouse loses theirs as a result of a move, Gorrindo advises to dig into support as needed.
“If you get PCSed, you can apply for unemployment,” Gorrindo says. “This is something I have (only recently) learned – the Army doesn’t make that available information – so definitely do your research, because the military is not really going to do it for you.”
3. Ask for what you want.
If it’s a job you love, Gorrindo says to not shy away from asking for exactly what you want, especially if that means remote work.
“I could have really tried when I left New York to keep my job remotely. Yes, it would have been challenging, but it wouldn’t have been impossible and I think that I was just too scared to put that out there. I was just too nervous and (the idea of teleworking) was too new,” she says. “I think now it’s so much more common, so be willing to be brave and take those chances if you want to hold on to what you’re doing.”
4. Familiarize yourself with local tax laws.
Gorrindo advises any entrepreneurs to “really familiarize” yourself with local tax and business laws in order to save money – and headaches – in the long run.
“I feel like I did that the long, hard way when I moved to Washington, and I wish I had been a better businesswoman – and it’s maybe even worth taking classes on entrepreneurship if you are starting your own business,” Gorrindo says.
5. Cast a wide net.
Despite moments where you feel alone, Gorrindo says, “There are a lot more organizations than I had realized that are out there to help and support military spouses trying to launch or continue careers.”
She says organizations like PILLAR, who host a digital deployment retreat each year, offer spouses an opportunity to connect.
“The women who run it are amazing and they’re military spouses just trying to launch and continue their own careers,” Gorrindo, who will be speaking at this year’s retreat, says. “I think even if you become part of that community, just looking for a community, you will make a lot of connections with other military spouses that can lead to career opportunities. That’s really what I have found and what I’ve witnessed by watching other military spouses is (how people are able to) connect.”
6. Look to your left and your right.
Gorrindo jokes that your spouse’s command team is there for emergencies, but when it comes to being able to thrive where you are, it’s fellow spouses who get the job done.
“Your support system is to your left and your right,” Gorrindo says of the military spouse community. “I think what I realized (in) publishing this book more than ever, is it’s not just at your base, but truly in a more global way.”
Gorrindo says that in publishing The Wives, she has had countless spouses reach out wanting to connect – for example, a psychologist who runs a mental health clinic – and want to partner with her in different ways that she would have likely never met.
“I wish I had kind of sought out (those connections) more,” Gorrindo says looking back at the trajectory of her career. “So I think just network within the wider military spouse community, because there are a lot of incredibly impressive individuals doing really interesting things and who want to support each other.”
7. Be ruthless.
It’s a sign hanging about Gorrindo’s desk at home, “Be ruthless.”
“I mean that in the sense of … ruthlessly fight for yourself and carve out time for yourself,” Gorrindo explains of her mantra. “I do think to some extent, we are faced with more obstacles in making a career and there are some moments where I really feel like I had to fight for a career in many, many moments when I could have not – and that’s a lot of pressure. I don’t want to put pressure on people to feel like they have to do that, but if it’s important to you, I think it’s worth it – and I’m really glad that I did fight for it.”