In 2008, the United States government declassified a World War II-era field manual from the Office of Strategic Services, the forerunner to the modern CIA. Published in 1944, its intent was to show ordinary citizens of any country how easy it could be for anyone to hamper the efforts of an enemy operation. The doctrine of “simple sabotage,” as it was called, did not require specialized tools or equipment, could be done by individuals, and incurred very little risk to anyone involved.
There were two kinds of simple sabotage. The first was destructive and used everyday objects readily available in civilian life. The manual suggests slashing tires, starting fires and short-circuiting electrical systems. The second type of simple sabotage is one that any worker can relate to, from the office to the factory floor, and it might make some people wonder if their coworkers are OSS saboteurs.
This kind of sabotage is about “universal opportunities to make faulty decisions, to adopt a non-cooperative attitude, and to induce others to follow suit.” This meant misplacing tools, starting arguments among coworkers and just generally being a jerk to anyone and everyone at your office.
“This type of activity,” the manual reads, “is frequently responsible for accidents, delays, and general obstruction even under normal conditions. The potential saboteur should discover what types of faulty decisions and the operations are normally found in this kind of work and should then devise his sabotage so as to enlarge that “margin for error.”
Here’s how the Office of Strategic Services suggests you sabotage your workplace:
1. Insist on doing everything through “channels” and never allow any shortcuts in communication to expedite decision making.
2. Make speeches, talk as often as you can and at great length, using long anecdotes and personal stories.
3. Refer matters to committees whenever possible and make committees as large as you can, with never fewer than five people.
4. Bring up irrelevant issues in meetings as often as you can.
5. Argue over the precise wording of all communications and decisions.
6. At every meeting, refer back to the previous meeting’s decisions and re-open those decisions for discussion.
7. Urge “caution” at all times, tell people they’re being too hasty and that they need to be “reasonable” with their decision-making processes.
8. Always question whether your group or office has the authority to make any decision. Ask to ensure any decisions are in conflict with current policies.
9. Ask for every policy or order in writing.
10. When you get things in writing, ask for long clarifications about every part of it. Then misunderstand them anyway.
11. Don’t complete anything until the very last minute.
12. Wait until you’re completely out of supplies before ordering more.
13. When you order new supplies, order high-quality items that are hard to get.
14. Assign the worst people to the most important projects.
15. Reject projects with even the slightest imperfections.
16. Train new employees wrong on purpose.
17. Be nice to bad employees and promote them. Discriminate against the good ones and complain about their work.
18. Hold meetings when there’s important work to be done. Then double everyone’s paperwork.
19. Make sure three people have to approve everything that leaves the office. Including paychecks.
20. Purposely confuse names and addresses.
21. Misfile the most important documents.
22. Spread disturbing rumors.
23. Ask unnecessary questions, repeat instructions and then blame the equipment for work done poorly.
24. Cry hysterically at every occasion.
25. Give overly long and incomprehensible answers when questioned.