So, it turns out that a decorated Navy SEAL has been working a little side gig in adult films with his wife. The pair own a production company and have starred in at least a few films.
Look, we’re not here to judge, and they don’t appear to have ever used their military affiliation to boost their movies. But since the connection is now out in the open, we thought we’d suggest a few themed movie titles they could use, as well as some good names if any of his military colleagues want to help out his company.
(Please, give us your best entries on Facebook.)
Movie Titles
1. SEAL Team Dix
2. Zero Dark Horny
America’s greatest warriors conduct a quiet insertion into Alottabutt, Pakistan, and slay what they find.
3. Squid Muff Diving
These heroes are prepared to go down for their country.
4. In Glorious Bastards
5. Pollywogs and Shellbacks
These new recruits are going to learn all about how Navy SEALs cross the equator.
6. SEAL Team 69
Sometimes it’s not enough to watch your brother’s back. You gotta watch his front, too.
7. American Sniper…of butts
We’re actually really proud of this one.
8. Neptune’s Spear
These SEALs drive it deep.
9. The O Course
10. Sea, Air, and Labia
These commandos always go where it’s the hottest.
11. Sex Act of Valor
12. Motion of the Ocean
Whether they’re riding a rubber raiding craft, a Zodiac boat, or a nuclear submarine, these SEALs know it’s not the size of your vessel, it’s what you can do with it.
13. Amphibious Ass-ault
14. BUDS
During the rigors of Hell Week, a group of candidates realizes that they can only rely on, and lie with, each other.
15. DEVGROPE
They’re always up for a special warfare experiment.
Next up: Porn Star Names
1. Squid McLovin
2. Master Chief Muff-Diver
He doesn’t come up for air until the mission is complete.
3. Freak E. Frogman
4. Chuck Trident
5. Slip Rey Squid
He always slides right in.
6. Fast Rope
He specializes in light bondage.
7. SEAL de Butts
8. Froggy Style
He knows the best way to complete the objective is sometimes to take it from behind.
9. Captain Cockswain
Always ready to take command.
10. Phil Cunt Splice
(Note: Cunt splice is an actual naval term, though most people now use the alternative term “cut splice” for obvious reasons.)